


may not be cool but it's so where i live

by nosecoffee



Series: my junk is you [3]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Christmas, Comedy, Dialogue-Only Challenge, Domestic, F/M, Fluff, Humour, Insults, M/M, Multi, Vague Texting AU, christmas plans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 03:24:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8952064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nosecoffee/pseuds/nosecoffee
Summary: Alex: where exactly do I get this gay apparel that Julie Andrews is telling me to don?Aaron: you're wearing it?Alex: YOU ARE TEARING THIS FAMILY A P A R TAaron: through truth





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ikendiji](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Ikendiji).



> Title (again) from "My Junk" from Spring Awakening

John: *Image Attachment*

~

"Alex? What's so funny?"

  
"Something John sent me."

  
"John 'Talk dirty 2 me'."

  
"Keep reading."

  
"Lafayette 'I'm not wearing any underwear. Because you never do the fucking laundry even though I told you to a million times.' John 'I am being attacked'."

  
"Oh my god."

  
"Why."

~

Lafayette: so how soon will you be done?

  
Hercules: a week at most.

  
Lafayette: ....are you sure?

  
Hercules: c'mon when have my calculations ever been wrong?

  
Lafayette: June 12, 2012

  
Hercules: SHUT UP THAT WAS ONE TIME

  
Lafayette: I WAS STILL STUCK IN BUENOS AIRES FOR THREE WEEKS

~

Thomas: you're late for a meeting

  
Alex: I AM SPRINTIGN

Thomas: this is YOUR project. if you're not here in five minutes, I'm moving on

  
Alex: I DROOPPED COFFEE ON MESELF I HIPE YOURE HAPPY

~

James: Thomas sends his sincere apologies

  
Alex: he can say that to my concussed face.

~

"I still don't understand how you gave yourself second degree burns and a concussion in a meeting room."

  
"It's a long story, Aaron."

  
"Luckily you're in a hospital bed, so we have all the time in the world."

  
"I was running to work, and I dropped my coffee on myself."

  
"That's the burns, what about the concussion?"

  
"I arrived at the meeting, did my presentation, and fainted from the pain, ergo, concussion when my head hit the floor."

  
"Well, let's hope your dramatic presentation helps your project pass."

  
"Mm."

~

Eliza: Philip wants to know why he had to make you a Get Well Soon card

  
Alex: tell him daddy had a disagreement with Mr. Jefferson

  
Eliza: why did that work

  
Alex: never leave him alone with me

Eliza: there goes my New Years plans

~

"I thought you were my friend."

  
"I am, Laf. And it's my duty as a friend to tell you that you fucking suck at this."

  
"It's a snowman! How hard can it be?"

  
"Considering that yours currently looks like Crash Bandicoot, very."

  
"I swear to god, Alexander."

~

"I have a secret to tell you, but if I do, the thing wearing your mom's skin will get mad."

  
"What?"

  
"John, get out, and stop scaring my son."

  
"He didn't get to tell me the secret."

~

Alex: where exactly do I get this gay apparel that Julie Andrews is telling me to don?

  
Aaron: you're wearing it?

  
Alex: YOU ARE TEARING THIS FAMILY A P A R T

Aaron: through truth

~

George: Martha would like to know what you, Hercules, and Philip are doing this Christmas.

  
Eliza: we're going to Ireland to visit Herc's family, and then home the day after Boxing Day. Does the 28th work for her?

  
George: she looks forward to it.

~

"Um."

  
"What?"

  
"My high school girlfriend just posted a picture of her seven year-old daughter on Facebook. Take a look at this."

  
"...She looks just like you."

  
"I'm phoning her."

~

John: date of death; 22nd of December, 2016. cause of death; the confirmation that I somehow have a seven year-old daughter.

  
Alex: SPILL THE T E A

~

"What did you get me?"

  
"Christmas is in three days, can you not wait?"

  
"No. What did you get me?"

  
"Sit in the corner and think really hard about what you just asked me."

  
"Ja-ames!"

  
"No!"

  
"Tell me or I'll-!"

  
"..."

  
"..."

  
"..."

  
"You know what, I can wait."

  
"Who knew you had to kiss Thomas Jefferson to shut him the fuck up. I should have been doing this for years."

~

Hercules: JOHN HAS A DAUGHTER

  
Eliza: WHAT HE NEVER TOLD ME WE COULDVE HAD PLAYDATES OMG

  
Hercules: HE DIDNT KNOW

  
Eliza: S P I L L T H E T E A

~

Peggy: where r u 4 Xmas

  
Angelica: England

  
Peggy: ah nuts

~

"What's her name."

  
"Frances Eleanor Manning."

  
"She-"

  
"She named her after my mother."

  
"Are you okay?"

  
"NO."

~

Thomas: have you recovered

  
Alex: you are like a fucking blister; you show up when the work's done

  
Thomas: I'll take that as a no and tell Washington to leave you 'til next year

  
Alex: I'll tell him myself.

~

Peggy: where r u 4 Xmas

  
Alex: here. With Aaron and Theo

  
Peggy: can I hang with u

  
Alex: sure

  
Peggy: was that sarcasm

  
Alex: you'd know if I was being sarcastic

  
Peggy: yeah, u just use it more than common sense

  
Alex: what I lack in common sense I make up for in sarcasm.

  
Peggy: I c

~

Angelica: what did you get my sister for Christmas

  
Hercules: Peggy or my girlfriend

  
Angelica: the latter

  
Hercules: I'm not gonna tell you. You'll just tell her. She employed you didn't she?

~

Hercules: you hired your sister to trick me into telling you what I got you

  
Eliza: with this smile I can get away with anything

~

"What are you doing?"

  
"Celebrating Christmas Eve and cooking my boyfriend dinner."

  
"Look, John, mon amour, I love you from the bottom of my heart, but I do not trust your cooking. Get out of my kitchen. Also I know you only cook to distract me from a problem, what's up?"

  
"Martha Manning's coming up on Christmas Day with Frances. I get to meet her."

  
"Oh."

~

Hercules: you still taking Philip to the Christmas party with Theo?

  
Alex: yep. I'll have him home by seven.

~

"Hi there. I'm Thomas Jefferson."

  
"I'm Philip Hamilton."

  
"A pleasure to meet you."

  
"You have as much charm as a dead slug."

  
"Merry Christmas to you too."

~

Alex: good luck in Ireland. Don't die.

  
Eliza: fuck you.

~

"Theo?"

  
"Is Santa gonna come into my room? I know I'll be on the Naughty list next year, but if he comes in my room, I'm gonna use my taser."

  
"Santa's not gonna go in your room, Theo. Alex put your stocking in the living room, remember?"

~

"Hi, Frances. I'm John."

  
"Frances, this is your dad."

  
"Hi."

  
"This is your dads boyfriend, Lafayette."

  
"Bonjour."

  
"Bonjour, Mr. Lafayette."

  
"Your dad got you a present."

  
"I sure did. Didn't know what you liked."

  
"You got her Ray Bans?"

  
"Yeah."

  
"Thanks, dad."

~

Alex: how'd it go?

  
Lafayette: he gave her a pair of Ray Bans and started crying.

  
Alex: good start

~

"Merry Christmas, Alex. I can't wait to be your husband."

  
"Merry Christmas, Aaron. I can't wait to eat that tuna casserole."

  
"Oh my god."

  
"Love you."

  
"I love you too."

"YOU'RE BOTH DISGUSTING! THEO AGREES WITH ME!"

"Stop turning my child against me, Peggy! It's Christmas, for gods sake!"

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this. If you did, feel free to leave a comment and/or a kudos. Track me down on Tumblr @nose-coffee and send me prompts and such. Thank you for reading!


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